A Knight Reminisces On His Victory Over A Certain Turk

She and I battled it beard to beard,

where a word in edgewise didn’t count,

and the thing to do was speak in tongues.

I sent in my slithering thousands.

That taught her to speak in tongues, by God,

like the whole damn Holy Land was lost.

She learnt how to yell Enough! in English,

and I to argue a small point to death.

Now that I’m back on this sceptred Isle

I long to return and debate again.