Stink A Little Save A Lot

Dear Heloise,

Washing your clothes too often wears them out

faster, so don't do it, too often, that is.

And tell that lady who uses air-filled packing material

to put away her retired purses 

I fluff mine out with crumpled Benjamins. 

Please don't publish my exact address por favor. 

PH in Tucson

P.S. I couldn't help notice from your photo

that you are sort of good-looking.

My wife died and I might need another woman. 

Are you available?