The Elusive Voice of the Viola

I have never heard the viola when:

there was another instrument playing,

the person next to me was whispering

or holding my hand,

the violist was good-looking,

I was a little sleepy,

it was recorded and the mice were playing hockey in the ceiling,

I smelled perfume,

my shoes or shorts were a little tight,

the lighting was dim and inviting,

the conductor was jiggling his plywood platform,

the tune itself was entertaining.

However, I can hardly wait.