The New So

We have two good words to begin a sentence:

Um and Well.

There is absolutely no need for So,

except in its general, So-like So-ness,

whereon saying So really means to say So.

Therefore, will you all please stop saying So

to mean nothing but either Um or Well.

I am asking politely. Quit it.

It seems to me, on further reflection

(about punishments I could not bring to bear),

there may be some room for compromise:

Whereas I have previously objected to Whereas,

I am herewith and henceforth accepting Whereso.

So whenever you feel a gratuitous So

welling up, or umming up, as they seem to,

stop yourself smartly and say: Whereso.

I hope this will settle it: So.